Showing posts with label prophet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prophet. Show all posts

Thursday, June 13, 2013

John Benefiel

Is This Guy For Real?

Sooooo...this voon-der-bar man of God wants you to believe that the Statue of Liberty is symbolic of a demon (or is it demoness) and NOT symbolic of LIBERTY. Uhmmm...somehow I get the feeling there is a huge percentage of the 300 million plus population of the United States that would heartily disagree. I am one of them. For me, that Statue of Liberty in the harbor in New York is symbolic of something amazing and special and cherished in this nation...LIBERTY...and has absolutely dick to do with anykind of demonology. But if Mr. Benefiel wishes to voice his opinion of what it stands for that is his LIBERTY. He really should remember that. I am one of the many who have fought for and maintained that liberty. Don't crap on that, Mr. Benefiel. Don't you dare. This country has far more to do with LIBERTY than your God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd74y4hvdhs

Okayyyy...you are not against homosexuals BUT you are against homosexuality. You DO see the problem with that statement, right? And what the hell are you talking about homosexuality being a great way to control the population? Homosexuality is a plot by the Illuminati to control the population and get rid of folks like you? Say WHAT?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDDKdYUkF64

Oh my dear Lord! This is hilariously wonderful!! Buddy...what the hell are you smoking? TELL ME!! I want to be sure to AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdA4xfjx_gg

You and a group of fellow nut-jobs went to the Lincoln Memorial to issue a Baal Divorce Decree? Haahahahhaaa!!! Sure. And Margret Thatcher went to Parliament to issue a Decree Repealing the United States Declaration of Independence. Then...in an act of magic (and it should be defined as such considering the lunacy of your claim) an earthquake was a signal of an answer to your problems? You are a psychopath, Mr. Benefiel. Whatever, man. Whatever. You are obviously lost deep...DEEP in your special world of religion. You and your mentally suffering sheep enjoy your delusions by yourselves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aLj0dx6jD4

So, you are saying that under certain circumstances a demon named Baal may have a LEGAL RIGHT to operate in someone's life? Hah!! Your delusions just keep stacking higher and higher. Come ON! Do you  know how goddamn stupid and ridiculous you sound? Oh, that is right...you don't care because you are doing GOD'S work. Whatever. Once again, whatever. Don't lose that confidence because you will need it to carry you through your life as you wait for the demented predictions of your faith and your Bible to actually happen. Oh, and they won't. I think you are looney, but I don't want you caught unawares.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFAhDLBUqNM

The Native Americans and their revival is key to your God doing what? Where the hell are you getting this information? Who is magically interpreting these decrees to you? What is wrong with you? I grew up totally steeped in Christianity and never once did we ever learn anything having anything to do with Christianity and the Native Americans with the exception of the ridiculous belief in MANIFEST DESTINY which by the way allowed for the decimation of Native lands and people and culture. I am Native American and I can tell you FOR SURE that I want absolutely NOTHING to do with your God or you or your Bible. Stuff it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT0ekWNUjL8

What is it with this seriously stupid idea that in order to have real, true forgiveness...something must die. Not only that...but whatever dies...there must be a smattering of the blood. Oh, and it must be the blood of the innocent. Yep. That is how all of humanity is saved from all the wickedness in the universe...KILL SOMETHING INNOCENT and sprinkle its blood hither and thither. Retarded.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjvZFP2ngbw


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https://sites.google.com/site/wiseonecartooncreations/craziness-of-blood-sacrifice-and-atonement

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

John Hagee: Can't Keep His Trap from Saying Stupid Shit


This is a Man of God?

Oh, how nice. Hagee is praying that God give the President the wisdom of Solomon as he (the President) leads the nation into war. Lovely.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8sDDbDxFmY

What Hagee neglects to tell you in this nifty little clip is that Lincoln signed TWO requested national days of prayer and fasting, one signed on August 12, 1861, and one signed on March 30, 1863. The second resolution for a proclamation of prayer and fasting was originally introduced by Senator James Harlan of Iowa on March 2, adopted on March 3, and signed by Lincoln on March 30. Hagee should have mentioned that Senator Harlan's daughter married President Lincoln's son, Robert. Oh, and he probably should have mentioned that the American Civil War ended in 1865...which makes Hagee's claim of things 'suddenly' turning around for the Union total bullshit.
     But what I think is particularly interesting is what Hagee left out about the first national day of prayer that Lincoln signed into effect 1861. Read it, and in the first paragraph you will see that it was a committee of both Houses of Congress that REQUESTED that the President recommend a day of "public humiliation, prayer and fasting" that would be observed by those with "religious solemnities." There is a lot more to be read on both documents and hopefully you will read them both here: http://sdfa.org/lincoln_a.htm
     Please pay close attention to the language in both of the documents signed by President Lincoln and keep in mind that it is HIGHLY LIKELY that since BOTH resolutions were requested OF President Lincoln and not initiated by him that he did not write the bodies of the resolutions themselves, but only affixed his name at the end. Of course, I am very sure Hagee and loads of other psychopathic evangelicals would scream differently.
     But, even that doesn't matter because the idea that God intervened because of prayer and fasting is hilariously stupid, right? Unless it is God's personal policy to totally ignore the first day of the fasting and beseeching prayers of the Union, totally ignore the second day of the same as well, allow hundreds of thousands of soldiers to die horribly, and allow the areas affected by the war to be torn to shreds (literally). I suppose it COULD be God's policy if you consider what He did to the Israelites in the Old Testament.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcaNRX_wl6k

     Okay...we will not discuss the hideousness of Hagee's suit jacket, but, his reference to Alexander Haig and the famous quote of being in charge is NOT from the 9/11 tragedy. It is from the March 30, 1981 assassination attempt of President Ronald Reagan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptrnH00J0Wk

     What the heck is this fuck-tard talking about? Why is he trying to use world tragedies to try to validate his stupid and ridiculous agenda and vicious God? Oooooohhhhh!!! GOD has a MIGHTY plan and it involves the deaths of MILLIONS of people with SIX MILLION of the dead HIS OWN PEOPLE. NICE.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ec-kZGKnQ8

     Again, Mr. Hagee, you are trying to define government and what government should be and needs to be according to a fantasy-riddled religious document. Step off, Mr. Hagee. Your imaginary God does NOT run this country. Some people like you think so, but that does not make it truth. The longer we can keep religious loonies like you and your pals OUT of politics the better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnXFJCjJ06U

     Like many others in the muck that results when you mix religion and politics Hagee makes absurdly stupid claims. Never mind the full extent of the political ramifications of what he says here...I only want to comment on one thing: God's treatment of HIS chosen people. Hagee can say all he wants that Israel has this great and grand connection to some great divine being somewhere in the great yonder, but in case Hagee has not peeked into the Old Testament and into the actual historical records of the 'chosen people' of God...this great supreme being has totally and completely treated HIS people with contempt and cruelty and not only that, but this great divine being has done this CONSISTENTLY. And you worry about other nations turning their backs on Israel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPqs4GCszSw

     So, what you are saying is that BEFORE there were even people on the earth this great God of yours decided that His great 'plan' for mankind would include a day and minute and hour and all that happy horseshit where God would KILL one third of the population of mankind? You don't think that is likely to get you a bunch of converts, do you? In fact, it might get a few to collect their brains and to leave your precious little flock. You are a sicko. Your God is a sicko. Your Bible is also totally sicko.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCY9zMitdPU


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http://noahsarkrevealed.blogspot.com/
http://makinggodangry.blogspot.com/

Friday, May 24, 2013

Joyce Meyer

God Gives Receipts?

     I will say this for Meyer: She has the gifts of gab and the ability to inject just the right amount of humor into whatever it is she is saying. She definitely has charisma which if you really think about it is essential for any successful preacher. Charisma goes a long way in ensuring that the congregation members will stay right where the preacher needs them to stay...in that particular congregation. While Meyer does have immense charisma above and beyond that of a majority of preachers out there in the religious world, she is edged out by pastor Joel Osteen. Osteen's calm demeanor, kind voice and lack of filling his sermons with negative messages of hell put him at the very top of the preacher charisma category.
     Moving on to our first video we hear Meyer basically preaching that you should show the devil that you will go the extra mile for God by rounding up to the nearest dollar when paying your tithe. Hah! That is pretty novel. Who wants to be seen as someone who does just the bare minimum, the lowest requirement? The way Meyer puts it you would think that not rounding up or not tithing more than what is required is a sign of an obstinate and stingy believer. What a crock of shit, Meyer. And you preach with that mouth?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXbcQfcIXX8

     Here we go again with religious people attacking other religious people who are popular. Joyce Meyer is amazingly popular and much like Joel Osteen and Kenneth Copeland who also have amazingly large followings she is picked at by others within the faith. I bet many of those doing the picking are just green with envy at the amount of money that many of the preachers they speak out against make on a consistent basis. This envy is hidden in, disguised as faithful followers of Christ simply trying to disrobe those clothed in the garb of a false prophet. The funny thing is...ALL of them are full of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQUDGzg9Cro

    Jesus Christ in a chariot driven sidecar...every preacher of every religion in every denomination have asserted at some point or other that THEY have been called by God. The crux of her message is if you continue to tithe you will be taken care of by God. You may not get the new clothes or the new car or the new house, but by Jesus and Mary, God will make sure what you have will last. Any doubts that you have about tithing is just the devil come to try to peel you away from the faith and the law of giving. This is a test. This is only a test of the spiritual broadcast system. Had this been anything other than a test it isn't God but the devil. Don't forget to sign your name on the check and for whatever amount you put down Jesus is commanding you to add two zeroes. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZLgEBTaiuY

     This is a delicious hoot! Of course you know as well as I that while a preacher may be silver-tongued and quite convincing, it is the individual who believes that horseshit who must shoulder some of the blame. It is the person who allows themself to believe such poppycock who is, in the final analysis, responsible for their condition of spiritual slavery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNvENZShmyo

     Holy shit! I am in the wrong business! A ten thousand square foot home? Homes for the kids? All bills paid by the ministry? Oh man, no wonder why so many people become preachers. They are swimming in cash! I suppose it really does not matter how many people speak out against these folks because in the end there are always the spiritually inept in the world who are all too willing to give their money to these phonies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko5zkkZ0GmQ

     This is interesting. I grew up steeped in the Christian faith and what Meyer is preaching here is totally otra de la Biblia. Of course, the way the Bible is written you can put just about ANY MEANING YOU WANT to anything that is written in the Bible. That is the terrible beauty of religion. You can change it to fit the people and the times and even make it fit the politics. Three cheers for religion...rah rah rah!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrP3OLCH9GI

     This is so goddamn jacked up. Since when did receiving equate with receipting? What the hell kind of bullshit is this? Since when do people do good things with the belief or intent that somewhere down the line when they need something they can 'cash in' whatever it is they have done in their lives to get what they need? If that isn't some fucked up and severely twisted doctrine I don't know what is. When you do something good you do it for the sake of being good and not for the purpose of receiving something back.

Joel Osteen


Mr. Nice Guy

     Oh dear Jesus. Just what we needed, a preacher so nice and so seemingly kind that people will not be aware and on the lookout for the screwy shit that he says. The joke he gives in the beginning of his sermon is funny though. Totally excellent!
     Alright! Hold up your Bible and say it like you mean it! This is my Bible. It says what I want it to say. It says I can do what I want to do. It says why I am better than you and have power when you don't. Today I will continue to learn why my God is better than your God. In the name of religion, amen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnabFCH9RlY

     Praise allows God to arrange things in your favor? Say what? So, if I want things to go in my favor all I have to do is praise? Alright, let's try it. Hummm...dear Jesus, you are wonderful and the bomb and I read your Bible and words every day. I think you are the best deity ever. WOW! I just got a Beemer! Woo hoo!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA3tMHHl6iw

     Do you realize that all of these answers that pastors and religious folk give to people in order to help them live are never in one piece or in one message? It is always a series of four, five, nine, twelve. Why do you think that is? Well, if you break the message up into as many sellable parts as possible you will more than likely make a shitload more money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7HSNScdluQ

     This is hilarious! Don't you just love it when the religious leaders of the world bicker over dogma and practices? Jesus and God meant this! No! Jesus and God meant this! Then you have this group of preachers fighting with that group of preachers as they charge the money holding congregations of the world that the other guy is wrong and they should not listen to him but go to the next guy. These douchebags LOVE to call each other wolves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU_wIBKjwbU

     Well, SOMEBODY watched "The Secret" and then wrote out his sermon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdeziSsZ2Js

     Yet another message that is obviously created by another preacher who is amazingly jealous of Osteen's popularity, growing church and growing wealth. Every preacher in the world claims to know what it is exactly that the words of the Bible were intended to mean. And while these idiots fight over which faith is the correct faith all they end up doing is adding a bit more ugliness to the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG5hmZctmZw

     Of course this guy is not sorry for being rich! What idiot would be sorry for being rich?

Kenneth Hagin

Fossil Claims to be 'Drunk' with God

     Okay. So, before we get to the video where Methuselah here claims to be exhibiting behavior that indicates he is drunk with God (possibly one of THE stupidest claims in the history of people making stupid claims) we will first take a peek at a few examples of the ridiculousness that seems to plague so many of those slaves, I mean servants of the gospel as they try to convince others to convert.
     What better way to convert people than to conjure up some half-baked story of how you had some experience where you left your body and went to hell. Some people are convinced by these dreams, experiences, or whatever it is you call them. Of course, there are stories where people say they go to heaven and then come back. For some that is a much better story to listen to in order to convert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67E0uWqjLYc

     Here is one of the examples where this old codger tries to validate his claim that laughing and acting a fool is recommended in the Bible. Total turd. What is particularly annoying is how he keeps repeating repeating repeating the same goddamn words over and over. Then he adds in a sprinkle of speaking in tongues. So hard to believe that people fall for this shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vUuL4oR-CI

     What the fuck language is this old windbag supposed to be speaking? Engalama-kante-see? Ha-ha-ha-echo-rene-maya? What a giant load of shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lela0pSgKqY

     This is hilarious. Hagin says that when he gets a certain signal from God he knows that God is going to do things through him. So what is this signal? Is it something like the mayor of Gotham City used when he needed Batman? Is it by telegram or Pony Express? And how do you like the little skit here where this asshole supposedly lengthens the leg of a man? He would have been all over Time and People if he ever did such a miraculous thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rBMUlaK5mk

     Here is a rambling prayer so long that you have ample time to run home, make dinner, do the dishes, take a nap, and then meander back to church in time to hear this fraud pray the words of ding-dong-bong-bing-bang-cho-chee-cha-mah towards the end of his prayer. His moments of supposedly speaking in tongues is pure idiocy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLjyUeFZc5g

     SOOOOO STUPID! There really isn't much more to say than so mother fucking stupid. The more you watch crap like this the more you come to believe that people who believe this shit can bail themselves out of their own prison of religion. They were stupid enough to believe it, so they can be bright enough to to stop believing it and revert to the real fucking world. Listen to these people whooping and cheering like little girls at a Justin Beiber concert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyACodY0hek

     This is hilarious. This supposed prophecy by Hagin sounds suspiciously like something that seer of seers Nostradamus would say. Meaning, it is severely ambiguous and contains just enough of the right words to make people think it is being specific. Retards.