Showing posts with label Osteen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Osteen. Show all posts

Friday, May 24, 2013

Joel Osteen


Mr. Nice Guy

     Oh dear Jesus. Just what we needed, a preacher so nice and so seemingly kind that people will not be aware and on the lookout for the screwy shit that he says. The joke he gives in the beginning of his sermon is funny though. Totally excellent!
     Alright! Hold up your Bible and say it like you mean it! This is my Bible. It says what I want it to say. It says I can do what I want to do. It says why I am better than you and have power when you don't. Today I will continue to learn why my God is better than your God. In the name of religion, amen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnabFCH9RlY

     Praise allows God to arrange things in your favor? Say what? So, if I want things to go in my favor all I have to do is praise? Alright, let's try it. Hummm...dear Jesus, you are wonderful and the bomb and I read your Bible and words every day. I think you are the best deity ever. WOW! I just got a Beemer! Woo hoo!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA3tMHHl6iw

     Do you realize that all of these answers that pastors and religious folk give to people in order to help them live are never in one piece or in one message? It is always a series of four, five, nine, twelve. Why do you think that is? Well, if you break the message up into as many sellable parts as possible you will more than likely make a shitload more money.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7HSNScdluQ

     This is hilarious! Don't you just love it when the religious leaders of the world bicker over dogma and practices? Jesus and God meant this! No! Jesus and God meant this! Then you have this group of preachers fighting with that group of preachers as they charge the money holding congregations of the world that the other guy is wrong and they should not listen to him but go to the next guy. These douchebags LOVE to call each other wolves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU_wIBKjwbU

     Well, SOMEBODY watched "The Secret" and then wrote out his sermon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdeziSsZ2Js

     Yet another message that is obviously created by another preacher who is amazingly jealous of Osteen's popularity, growing church and growing wealth. Every preacher in the world claims to know what it is exactly that the words of the Bible were intended to mean. And while these idiots fight over which faith is the correct faith all they end up doing is adding a bit more ugliness to the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG5hmZctmZw

     Of course this guy is not sorry for being rich! What idiot would be sorry for being rich?
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Thursday, May 9, 2013

Jesus Told Me to Tell You to Give Me Money...

This is Really Interesting:
Men of God Tell You Messages Direct from Jesus and Have the Power to Sell You Miracles!


Here is the typical religious charlatan who is absolutely shameless in making claims he has no business claiming. You know, if people simply believe a God that you preach to be true they sure don't need you for freaking miracles or cloths. All they would need would be the reality of the truth of love of God...not you.

What is this happy horseshit? People actually fall for this crap, too. That is the really sad part. If God is as powerful as you say He is then people don't need the goddamn cloth or covering. Benny Hinn you are a loser, a liar, a charlatan, a person who preys on the spiritually weak who are seeking hope and love.

I don't see how people buy into this jerks claims. He is such a sham! He can't even muster good enough acting talent to actually come across as genuine as he tries to sound holy quoting scripture.

Dude, I don't feel anything but peels of laughter watching your bullshit broadcast.

Yubba dubba shabba dabba doo...someone with smelly feet finds the miracle of soap. Zabba dabba...I curse the halitosis! Someone's bad breath from smoking is being healed right now...Jesus is reaching into your purse right now and removing the cigarettes and replacing them with Tictacs...

Look, if God wants to give someone a 'miracle home' as you so put it, He will do so without needing the efforts of a shyster pouncing about on a stage and trying to shove Jesus down throats for a freaking dollar.

Sure Jesus still heals the sick and performs miracles. Give the the key of 'B' please (for 'Bullshit'). I doubt that the supposed ultimate in power of the entire universe would pick a loser preacher from Louisiana who bedded a prostitute (more than once, folks) as a vessel for dispensing the truth and power of God.

This blonde pixie is saying some hilarious stuff! Hah! Pick up the phone and tell this bitch she is not going to get her tiny little hands on your money. Your faith has nothing to do with your money in her pocket.

This is a plug for why total alcoholics SHOULD NOT become preachers. Did this lady drive to services that morning? Angels smiling at her and asking her if she wanted wine? WTF? Were they riding pink elephants?

Use this special little cloth and you too can be healed from infirmities that medical science has not even found cures to as of yet. For all we know it just may cure pain in childbirth.

Miracle manna? Now I really have seen it all. What a croc of shit. Did you hear the part about instructions?

Two douchebags practice their creative writing and creative interpretation techniques for all to see. How in the world people can consistently fall for this bull and crap is frightening. It is not faith. It is fraud.

Peter Popoff pops off more lies. Business as usual for this freak and his cronies. 







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