Joel Osteen

Mr. Nice Guy

     Oh dear Jesus. Just what we needed, a preacher so nice and so seemingly kind that people will not be aware and on the lookout for the screwy shit that he says. The joke he gives in the beginning of his sermon is funny though. Totally excellent!
     Alright! Hold up your Bible and say it like you mean it! This is my Bible. It says what I want it to say. It says I can do what I want to do. It says why I am better than you and have power when you don't. Today I will continue to learn why my God is better than your God. In the name of religion, amen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnabFCH9RlY

     Praise allows God to arrange things in your favor? Say what? So, if I want things to go in my favor all I have to do is praise? Alright, let's try it. Hummm...dear Jesus, you are wonderful and the bomb and I read your Bible and words every day. I think you are the best deity ever. WOW! I just got a Beemer! Woo hoo!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA3tMHHl6iw

     Do you realize that all of these answers that pastors and religious folk give to people in order to help them live are never in one piece or in one message? It is always a series of four, five, nine, twelve. Why do you think that is? Well, if you break the message up into as many sellable parts as possible you will more than likely make a shitload more money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7HSNScdluQ

     This is hilarious! Don't you just love it when the religious leaders of the world bicker over dogma and practices? Jesus and God meant this! No! Jesus and God meant this! Then you have this group of preachers fighting with that group of preachers as they charge the money holding congregations of the world that the other guy is wrong and they should not listen to him but go to the next guy. These douchebags LOVE to call each other wolves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU_wIBKjwbU

     Well, SOMEBODY watched "The Secret" and then wrote out his sermon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdeziSsZ2Js

     Yet another message that is obviously created by another preacher who is amazingly jealous of Osteen's popularity, growing church and growing wealth. Every preacher in the world claims to know what it is exactly that the words of the Bible were intended to mean. And while these idiots fight over which faith is the correct faith all they end up doing is adding a bit more ugliness to the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG5hmZctmZw

     Of course this guy is not sorry for being rich! What idiot would be sorry for being rich?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orv5xz3GEjY


https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=The+Autopsy+of+Christianity+Stoops&x=0&y=0

http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Theologians-ebook/dp/B004LX0IOK/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369430516&sr=1-1

http://www.amazon.com/The-Tenement-Gospel-ebook/dp/B004W0ITIY/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369430516&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Confessions-ebook/dp/B008FWBYY6/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369430516&sr=1-5

http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Said-ebook/dp/B0090NKCJW/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369430516&sr=1-4

http://justlivingbyfaith.blogspot.com/

http://makinggodangry.blogspot.com/

Kenneth Copeland

I Smell a Rat

     It seems like this guy has been on religious television forever. He is one of the wealthiest television preachers, in part due to concocting ridiculous stories like the one he tells here in an effort to disarm the many sheep in the audience. That way the audience members won't think twice about writing this worm a check or giving him cash when he asks them for their money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luh30BiCUlI

     Copeland is very creative when finding ways to validate his prosperity doctrine. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6gWdJA48K4

     Give money to me. If you give money to me I promise that God will bless you immensely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCVyIbG4nrQ&list=PL97226299D64BD0A1

     You know, you have serious investigations like this one that are aired on major networks. The information is compelling, yet these liars and thieves still continue to rake in the cash. Why are people still giving to them? Do these people ever watch these types of shows? Do they even care that they are being taken for a ride?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b5m824hwJk

     Granted, I am not a Christian. I was, however, raised Christian and am very familiar with the doctrines and rules and such. Now, we were taught that you do not need anyone to go to God for you on your behalf. Never. You yourself speak directly to God through prayer. That is really a key stone in the foundation of Christianity, that the believer goes before Christ themselves through prayer.
     And of course you know why Copeland has a freaking prayer line, right? Why pass up the chance to squeeze as much as possible from the believers? Create a prayer line, and when they call in offer them the newest DVD or promotional item that Jesus really wants them to have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1kEKTVaxZY

     This is rather interesting. This was the first time I ever heard a sermon on how God is the biggest failure in the Bible. I had to listen to it several times. You know what I realized? Copeland is right. The God presented in the Bible is definitely the greatest failure in the Bible. He is the one with the greatest amount of power, omnipotence, authority, and who consistently fucks things up for everyone, including His chosen people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rHvdk_cBzg

     Well, here we have actual proof that believers get drunk on the blood of Christ. I always wondered why so many people attended communion services. This show of entirely fabricated...shit, I don't even know what to call it...this is pathetic. Simply fucking pathetic. Do you feel sorry for the people getting rooked when they make the choice to believe this bullshit?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M

     Hubba-dubba-yabba-dabba? What the hell does he say at the beginning? He is supposed to be speaking in tongues. If he is speaking in tongues then the believing folks in the audience are listening with stupidity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj6lbWSU3rk


http://toleratingaggressivereligioushumor.blogspot.com/

http://cantstandreligion.blogspot.com/

https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/theopoly

https://sites.google.com/site/wiseonecartooncreations/

https://sites.google.com/site/yousillysillygoose/home