Kenneth Hagin

Fossil Claims to be 'Drunk' with God

     Okay. So, before we get to the video where Methuselah here claims to be exhibiting behavior that indicates he is drunk with God (possibly one of THE stupidest claims in the history of people making stupid claims) we will first take a peek at a few examples of the ridiculousness that seems to plague so many of those slaves, I mean servants of the gospel as they try to convince others to convert.
     What better way to convert people than to conjure up some half-baked story of how you had some experience where you left your body and went to hell. Some people are convinced by these dreams, experiences, or whatever it is you call them. Of course, there are stories where people say they go to heaven and then come back. For some that is a much better story to listen to in order to convert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67E0uWqjLYc

     Here is one of the examples where this old codger tries to validate his claim that laughing and acting a fool is recommended in the Bible. Total turd. What is particularly annoying is how he keeps repeating repeating repeating the same goddamn words over and over. Then he adds in a sprinkle of speaking in tongues. So hard to believe that people fall for this shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vUuL4oR-CI

     What the fuck language is this old windbag supposed to be speaking? Engalama-kante-see? Ha-ha-ha-echo-rene-maya? What a giant load of shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lela0pSgKqY

     This is hilarious. Hagin says that when he gets a certain signal from God he knows that God is going to do things through him. So what is this signal? Is it something like the mayor of Gotham City used when he needed Batman? Is it by telegram or Pony Express? And how do you like the little skit here where this asshole supposedly lengthens the leg of a man? He would have been all over Time and People if he ever did such a miraculous thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rBMUlaK5mk

     Here is a rambling prayer so long that you have ample time to run home, make dinner, do the dishes, take a nap, and then meander back to church in time to hear this fraud pray the words of ding-dong-bong-bing-bang-cho-chee-cha-mah towards the end of his prayer. His moments of supposedly speaking in tongues is pure idiocy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLjyUeFZc5g

     SOOOOO STUPID! There really isn't much more to say than so mother fucking stupid. The more you watch crap like this the more you come to believe that people who believe this shit can bail themselves out of their own prison of religion. They were stupid enough to believe it, so they can be bright enough to to stop believing it and revert to the real fucking world. Listen to these people whooping and cheering like little girls at a Justin Beiber concert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyACodY0hek

     This is hilarious. This supposed prophecy by Hagin sounds suspiciously like something that seer of seers Nostradamus would say. Meaning, it is severely ambiguous and contains just enough of the right words to make people think it is being specific. Retards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_k0KPTzQ1o


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https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/theopoly

https://sites.google.com/site/wiseonecartooncreations/

http://toleratingaggressivereligioushumor.blogspot.com/

http://realbookofrevelation.blogspot.com/

http://makinggodangry.blogspot.com/

http://www.zazzle.com/biblical_myth_periodic_table_of_elements_posters-228084324809883766

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0090NKCJW#_

http://www.zazzle.com/funny_quotes_poster_1-228598465831373233

Kenneth Copeland

I Smell a Rat

     It seems like this guy has been on religious television forever. He is one of the wealthiest television preachers, in part due to concocting ridiculous stories like the one he tells here in an effort to disarm the many sheep in the audience. That way the audience members won't think twice about writing this worm a check or giving him cash when he asks them for their money.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luh30BiCUlI

     Copeland is very creative when finding ways to validate his prosperity doctrine. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6gWdJA48K4

     Give money to me. If you give money to me I promise that God will bless you immensely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCVyIbG4nrQ&list=PL97226299D64BD0A1

     You know, you have serious investigations like this one that are aired on major networks. The information is compelling, yet these liars and thieves still continue to rake in the cash. Why are people still giving to them? Do these people ever watch these types of shows? Do they even care that they are being taken for a ride?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b5m824hwJk

     Granted, I am not a Christian. I was, however, raised Christian and am very familiar with the doctrines and rules and such. Now, we were taught that you do not need anyone to go to God for you on your behalf. Never. You yourself speak directly to God through prayer. That is really a key stone in the foundation of Christianity, that the believer goes before Christ themselves through prayer.
     And of course you know why Copeland has a freaking prayer line, right? Why pass up the chance to squeeze as much as possible from the believers? Create a prayer line, and when they call in offer them the newest DVD or promotional item that Jesus really wants them to have.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1kEKTVaxZY

     This is rather interesting. This was the first time I ever heard a sermon on how God is the biggest failure in the Bible. I had to listen to it several times. You know what I realized? Copeland is right. The God presented in the Bible is definitely the greatest failure in the Bible. He is the one with the greatest amount of power, omnipotence, authority, and who consistently fucks things up for everyone, including His chosen people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rHvdk_cBzg

     Well, here we have actual proof that believers get drunk on the blood of Christ. I always wondered why so many people attended communion services. This show of entirely fabricated...shit, I don't even know what to call it...this is pathetic. Simply fucking pathetic. Do you feel sorry for the people getting rooked when they make the choice to believe this bullshit?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M

     Hubba-dubba-yabba-dabba? What the hell does he say at the beginning? He is supposed to be speaking in tongues. If he is speaking in tongues then the believing folks in the audience are listening with stupidity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj6lbWSU3rk


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